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Metapost: Wesley Crusher styles webcomics on TV

Wil Wheaton (a.k.a. TV’s Wesley) was styling a Penny Arcade shirt on last night’s episode of The Big Bang Theory. Specifically, the Fruit F***er shirt. I have no idea who this character is, but judging by the name, it adequately belongs on a man who is occupying 6th place on Sheldon’s “Most Hated” list (just above “Joe Schumacher”). Wil Wheaton would eventually best Sheldon at his own pseudo-Magic: The Gathering game, denying our resident physicist his vengeance and causing him to howl a curse unto the heavens: “Wheeeaattoonnn! WHEAAATTTTONNNNN!!!!”

And that shirt can be yours today!

El Santo vs. The Vampire Women: Blood Bound

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Most practitioners of vampire fiction have deal with a sticky situation: how do you make vampires sympathetic when they’re murderers, cannibals, and rapists? Most sidestep the issue completely by creating vampires who prefer chocolates, vegetables, or synthetic blood substitutes. Others have their vampires drink prepackaged blood or emphasize that their victims don’t really die. And then there’s the ones whose vampires acknowledge that they can’t control their hunger, but devote their lives to hunting down and destroying their own kind, Daywalker style.

RKB vs. The Vampire Women: LaMorte Sisters

RKB at the Pigs of the Industry blog wrote a review of LaMorte Sisters, a Zuda instant winner by Tony Trov, John Zito, and Christine Larsen. How does one become an instant winner, anyway? The Webcomic Overlook suspects copious amounts of booze and incriminating photos of Ron Perazza with a lampshade were involved.

El Santo vs. The Vampire Women: Abandon: First Vampire

We begin our story with Laila McCarthy and her trusty pal Kimmy on the run from a crack squadron of the world’s most metrosexual vampires. When they finally corner the two girls, it turns out that they have a fairly reasonable request for Professor Laila: translate two tablets of hieroglyphics, or the girl gets it. Laila, instead, goes for Option C. Short of telling the guys that the tablets belong in a museum and not being a big fan of fellas with frosted tips, she hacks her attackers down with a big ol’ samurai sword. Hey, what’s the use of carrying a sword around if you’re never gonna use it?

The battle won, Laila turns her attention to the tablets. The writing turns out to be a love story between two ancient Sumerian demons. Their forbidden love, we later find out, is predicted to bring about the end of time. After some gratuitous girl-on-girl action (which is, tastefully, left mostly to the imagination), Laila becomes pensive.  For, you see, she may be mild mannered professor Laila McCarthy to her friends and colleagues, but in real life she is none other … *gasp* … Lamashtu, the first vampire!

Abandon: First Vampire is written Greg Carter and illustrated by Elliot Dombo.

Captain Nihilist Responds To the State of The Webcomics Union

Just yesterday, Jeph Jacques of Questionable Content released his State of the Webcomics Union.

This is the democratic response.

El Santo vs. The Vampire Women: Juliette: Worst Vampire Ever

So if the last few entries of “El Santo vs. The Vampire Women” have had you feeling like a pedophile, I offer you a deep apology. It really is not that easy finding comics about vampire women where the main character doesn’t look like a preteen. That’s pretty much the case, at least, with any webcomic where the styles bear overtly Japanese influences. To find stories with more mature looking vampire ladies, we have to turn our attention overseas.

OK, so technically the protagonist of Juliette: Worst Vampire Ever is still in high school. You wouldn’t know it by looking at her, though. She looks like she’s being played by someone over 25.

Scott Kurtz makes nice with Zuda. Also, lions lie with lambs.

Typically, the established webcomic community has been very critical of Zuda.

Gary Tyrrell at Fleen, for example:

El Santo vs. The Vampire Women: Annyseed

The Harvey Awards: NASCAR Heroes loses

El Santo vs. The Vampire Women: School Bites

Names carry with them the heavy weight of expectations. Say your name is Charlotte Webb, like the heroine of School Bites. Surely you should be spending your days hanging around in the rafters of some barnyard and spinning words like “radiant” or “some pig.” Not so with Charlotte. Perhaps that was her destiny, but it all changed that fateful day she she found out she was a vampire.

This may be why she changes her name to Cherri Creeper. Sure, it still sounds like she should be a rollergirl with the Yakima Valley Vixens instead, but it can passably be a vampire’s name, too. Plus she’s got a cherry embroidered in her t-shirt. That counts for something.

Speaking of names, School Bites is written by Holly Golightly, who by all rights should be a Bond Girl rather than a comic book creator. I was delighted to find out that Ms. Golightly already had a few comics in print, most with gothic overtones: Nightmare Theatre, Archie Comics’ Sabrina, and Vampfire. When not drawing comic books, she’s apparently living the life and dressing up in skull tees like a real life Abby Scuito (and I think I just might get my ass kicked with that last comment).